What do people think and what is the reality..!!


Since I started this coaching career, I have come across many different mindsets and thoughts about what is coaching. People have their own perspectives about the coaching process; depending upon their experience and interacting with either the coaches themselves or the people they know who have had coaching experience.

The most interesting and in fact most mistaken narrative around what coaching is all about – is that it involves creating some kind of perfect life, in a perfect bubble, where everything is magical. Everybody knows their purpose at every moment. In reality, this is not what a transformational coach does.

There are multiple misunderstandings about what is Coaching. People think in many ways about coaching but here are the 4 common mistaken thoughts about what coaching is; followed by the reality-based analysis. 


Perspective #1: Coaching is about peak performance, goals and problem solving

We often spend so much time at work and play focusing on outcomes and hammering on results, that we leave fulfillment by the side of the road and forget to savor the steps and moments along the way. And we often forget why we’re doing what we’re doing in the quest to hurry up and get there.

The question we all face is… how do we start to enjoy ourselves on our journey to success if we don’t figure out how to enjoy the ups and downs along the way?


The Reality:

  • It’s not about problem-solving, but problems get solved.
  • It’s not about performance, but performance improves.
  • It’s not about goals, but they are achieved more quickly.
  • It’s not about results, but results improve naturally.

Coaching is not about making life problem-free, but about giving depth and value to your experiences that come from mindful living and thinking.

In a transformational coaching relationship, we tap into the human need for collaboration in a non-judgmental way. We support people to empower themselves, and find their own answers, and support and nurture that process.


Perspective #2: Personal coaches only help you reach personal goals. Business coaches only help you reach business goals.

Some clients want to focus on personal goals such as relationships, time management, work-life balance, stress reduction, simplification, health, etc. Other clients may be more interested in professional or business goals such as developing a leadership presence, getting a promotion or becoming more of an influence, starting a business, or leaving the corporate world to find a more meaningful heart-centered career.


The Reality: Everything is connected to everything else in our lives. Once we stop carving ourselves up into little slices, we can not see the whole picture with increased clarity. So, it’s not about finding the right TYPE of coach, but instead about the client finding the right coach for them, at that moment in their lives.

A Transformational coach is someone who is accomplished at helping others create change in their lives. A masterful coaching space is created when you listen to the very best in others, even when they can’t hear it in themselves.


Perspective #3: Successful people don’t need coaches. Coaching is for lightweights who can’t succeed on their own

Coaching isn’t about fixing, it’s more about fine-tuning.

It would not be a stretch to say that modern living has been designed more around stress than health, more for speed than quality and more for endless growth than sustainability and happiness. So, a sustainable lifestyle needs to be designed – it doesn’t happen magically on its own.

Look around at your world. Except when we’re in nature, everything you see is purposefully designed. The society you live in, the corporate culture you work in and the processes you use. And perhaps most importantly the way you think and operate on a daily basis has been designed- by you.

An effective coaching and mentoring relationship help people to unravel the complexities of daily life and design a richer, more meaningful experience. It’s not about cotton candy self-help slogans and positive affirmations. It’s about skillful living.


The Reality: People who take life seriously have coaches; amateurs do not. Coaching is about optimizing yourself. It is foundational. I believe our world needs more conscious design, and it begins by creating work and play that is balanced and purposeful, rather than just an endless rat race to run till you die.


Perspective #4: Personal Development is a luxury, not a necessity

Coaching conversations are compass conversations, without borders and judgments. This compass points to cultivating a richly expressive and meaningful life at work and in society. It’s about identifying how to make your life more alive and finding a holistic approach to living a balanced, prosperous lifestyle.

Is this a luxury? I don’t think so. There are two skills we must concern ourselves with if we want to live satisfying lives, without going crazy in this modern life we live. One of these skills teaches us how to make a living. The other teaches us how to live.


The Reality: Many people focus only on making a living, at the expense of how to live. It is in striking a balance between the two, that we find the optimal flow state. If you want to enjoy the success you build, you need to design how you think and operate, or someone else will do it for you. And guess what? Most likely, they don’t have much planned for you.

Now you hopefully have a good idea about coaching!

Empower yourself to shine brightly as an introverted expat, and let's make this experience a truly enriching one!